Beyond the ordinary

This is where our journey begins.  I am glad you're here to be a part of our story.

From a tender age, I was known for my boundless curiosity and unwavering determination..

Life however, was far from easy.  My family struggled to make ends meet, and the harsh conditions of the home often tested my endurance..

The healing did not take place overnight; it came in stages in my life. 

In a world where seeking revenge seems more accessible and potentially more satisfying, it is said that it takes courage and strength to do it. And I couldn’t agree more. “An eye for an eye” is a reaction to being hurt, physically or emotionally. The need for retaliation poisons our minds, and it takes hard work to be able to say, “I forgive you, finally.”

Forgiveness is about letting go of the past, understanding, and moving on. It’s about taking care of your own mental health and setting yourself free. Selfish? Maybe, but it’s the kind that does good to others too. To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.

It’s not an easy journey to get to a place where you forgive people. But it is such a powerful place, because it frees you. 

It was the most important lesson I have ever learned. That day I read about releasing and forgiving others. It brought out all the hurt and pain to me and showed me what to do. I was convinced that I  had been chosen for a purpose. So I had to forgive all those people who abused and caused me pain over the years. We must forgive to heal. 

Right now is the time to release those who have offended you. Do it Now! Release them in your heart. This is the right moment- tomorrow may be too late. 

Some people can’t understand why I chose to forgive and move on. I tell you this, it’s because I forgave them; I no longer have sleepless nights or terrible nightmares. 

There will come a time when you will discard all your material possessions, the same things that you have mistakenly treasured for life. These are the things we are guilty of giving undue importance. Our earthly possessions mean nothing to us if we can’t find peace in our hearts. We need to reject pride in our lives and humble ourselves to find inner strength. 

The lines you draw with your actions today create your destiny tomorrow.  So be sure that your pen is drawing a work of art.

This is the way it’s always been - the smell of mum’s cooking in the early hours of the morning before work or late at night after work. The hunger pangs are hurting my little tummy, and I am wondering if Mum has enough food to feed the seven of us. Then I see the tears rolling down her cheeks, and I am wondering how to help her wipe those tears.  I started to tremble and shake in fear of what was to come.  It’s dark outside. Where will I hide tonight?

I try to shut my eyes and not let the bogeyman see my fears.  Turning away from the angry and loud voices, I whisper to my special friend- no one can see or hear her, only she allows me to see and feel her.  Tonight, the voices are very loud and angry. I can’t seem to find my special friend amid this chaos.  

 

Tears streaming down my cheeks, I ran as fast as I could to avoid the bush knife being aimed at us. The bush knife lands on the kitchen cupboard, leaving it broken and hanging on its hinges..  I am running like the devil is behind me. I gather all my energies and run after my mother, shouting out to her to wait for me.  She runs without turning behind; I am forgotten for the moment.  She enters the tent and falls on her knees and

cries out to the silent shadows of the night. My heart is thumping so loudly I can almost hear it. I join her on the floor and try to reach for her hands, but she pushes it away.

 

I beg and plead to my special friend, “Help her, please.”  She is riddled with scars nobody can see, as it happens behind closed doors; no one is going to believe me.  I am only a child, and children must be seen but not heard.

Dear mom and dad

Forgive me for sharing this part of my life with the world, as it is part of the wounds that must be healed. 

 

“From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story. A story that says, -I survived.”

When you experience childhood trauma, your life and your soul are altered forever. Those who suffer loss, abuse, or neglect early on in life can often suffer from serious psychological and emotional disorders for decades to come, changing who they are and destroying their ability to have caring and loving relationships even decades after the traumatic event.

Childhood trauma holds us back and bricks up our potential in truly unimaginable ways. When our hearts are damaged at such critical developmental stages, it makes it easier to put up walls and harder to find the healing that we need. Healing the harms and injuries of our childhood is one of the hardest things we can do, but

we must create the life we want. If you want to get over the past, you have to start by facing it — bravely and one step at a time. The effects of unresolved trauma can be devastating. It can affect our habits and outlook on life, leading to addictions and poor decision-making. It can take a toll on our family life and interpersonal relationships. It can trigger real physical pain, symptoms, and disease. And it can lead to a range of self-destructive behaviors.

I had to forgive them; I made no excuses for their behaviour.  As a child, I only feared the adults.  There were no hugs and kisses.  There were a lot of tears, beatings every day, I could forget, yet the unseen horror was buried deep within my soul

My strength was my only salvation.  I questioned my beliefs in the existence of God and, numerous times, tried to run away, but somehow I was found, and that too got the beating of my life. It was so hard, trying to understand what was being done to me as a child. The happy times were far and few in those days.. They were adults, and I was small, helpless, and didn't have the strength to fight back.  I wanted nothing more in life than to get a hug and a kiss, but those were hard to come by. I have to live and let go of those dark days, or allow them to torment me for the rest of my life.  Children are precious and are angels who didn't ask to be here; we created

them, so we should always love and protect them. Give hugs and kisses freely.  

As a child, I wanted my parents to love me and take care of me. When my parents didn't do this, I  tried to become the kind of child I thought they would love. Burying feelings that might get in the way of me getting my needs met, I created a false self—the person I presented to the world. When I buried my emotions, I lost touch with who I really am because my feelings are an integral part of me.I lived my life terrified that if I let the mask drop, I would no longer be cared for, loved, or accepted.

What I think and believe about myself drives my self-talk. The way I talk to myself can empower or disempower me. Negative self-talk disempowers me and makes me feel like I have no control over my life  — like a victim. I may have been victimized as a child, but I don't have to remain a victim as an adult.

Even in circumstances where I think I don't have a

choice, I always have a choice, even if it's just the power to choose how I think about my life. I had little to no control over my environment and my life when I was a child, but I am not a child anymore. I am likely more capable of changing my situation than I believed

Instead of thinking of myself as a victim, I can think of myself as a survivor. The next time I feel trapped and choiceless, I remind myself that I am more capable and in control than I think.

When I bury my feelings, I bury who I am.. Because of childhood emotional trauma, I may have learned to hide parts of myself. At the time, that may have helped me. But as an adult, I need my  feelings to tell me who I am and what I want, and to guide me toward becoming the person I want to be 

 

to  be continued 

https://www.mind.org.uk/