Inner Child

I want to be a good person. I don't want to fail. I want to learn from my mistakes, rid myself of distractions, and run into the arms of freedom. Most of the time, however, I feel like I am running away from my freedom into the arms of my own clutteredness.

Where I grew up became a big part of who I  am for the rest of my life. I can't run away from that. Well, sometimes running away from it is what made me who I am.

Deep in the forest, just below Owlbeech Forest, the silence is so deep and dense, and its like you are wading through it.  With the chill air so thick with moisture that it stills a few leaves clinging to its branches.  Nothing stirs, wild animals are deep underground, only the narrow creek below moves confidently, its clear water murmuring and bubbling over the stones.  My toes have no feelings, and I wince in pain as the cold seeps into my bones.

Allowing the silence to still the heart and the roaring waves lull me to sleep beneath the old tree.  “Thunder oh thunder, do not weep- as the mother holds her babe in her arms.”  Sitting and staring, “ oh mirror, mirror on the wall,” I came to the garden of remembrance, and I sat on the bench and suddenly felt my body sway back and forth.  I felt my body sway, and suddenly I was transported into the far distant galaxies to another dimension.  Round and round the spirit soared into nothingness. I opened my eyes and was back at the garden of remembrance. This happened a few times more as I went from one life to another, whispering, “Father, forgive them”

My experience was like I had to go through the pain, humiliation, and rejection, chased away by family and friends, left with nothing except my dignity and my truth. Sometimes it is good, this human experience; other times it's anger and frustration. 

 It's not so easy to write off my feelings.  Sometimes I feel I just had a bad day, and my thoughts were way too deep, and my mind went out for a stroll, and now it feels like I fell down a rabbit hole.  Sometimes I need someone to be there, not to fix anything in particular, but to let me feel cared for and supported.  At the moment, I felt like I was in a storm; I can’t stop it, so I shall stop trying.  This is the beginning of a new day.  I have been 

given this day to use it as I will. I can either waste it or use it for good.  What I do today is important because I am exchanging it for a day of my life for it.  When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever, and in its place is something that I have left behind.  Let it be something good.  Don't feel despondent. Calm myself and get well, for it is what is needed right now. 

The past is over, and there is no turning back.  Don't let the past keep hurting you.  Remember you are here for a reason, a purpose, and that is to have a human experience that was pre-ordained before birth.  Several incarnations through eons of time have made you who you are today.  The most important lesson is to let go of those holding you back.  The past belongs to yesterday.  Stay away from it as it only brings you pain.  Love heals fear.  Listen to your heart always, for it is there where the highest self dwells.  Seek no revenge, nor lust after material wealth, for you know it is not worth dust.

The leaves wither through the seasons and leave behind the imprint of the past season, hence it is winter.  Embrace the day, live your joy.  The real work begins now. The teardrop washes away to the ripples of the tide

into the ocean, teaming with life beneath the sea. 

You really think I keep going because I don't hurt? The truth is it hurts more than I care to admit to you.

When I am tired, I keep going; when I am scared, I keep going.  When I fail, I keep going; when I feel alone, I will keep going, because I know that standing still is not going to give me the life I deserve.  So you can either get out of my way or stand with me because no matter what, I am going to keep on moving forward.

What is love exactly? It's putting someone else's needs before yours.

Under the trees, peaceful with nature, birds chirping, bees humming. Stillness of the mind, glorious is the sunny skies.  The leaves awaken to the new dawn, tune into the universe as the morning dew settles, bearing fruit.

Beyond the blue tender long-leaved tree, sat a robin, then the dream stopped!

Once again, I withdraw into my hollow existence; nothing bothers the inner self.  One can master their journey through being in the present NOW.  Silence is the best for me in order to fulfill my destiny.  No point in going on and on about things one cannot change.  It’s easy to grieve, cry, and forgive, but the human mind does not extend beyond forgiveness or forget.  All they seek is more revenge or more devilish actions to hurt other humans. Humans are no stronger than they were before the Iron Age.  The new earth has begun.  The leaves are green again; however, humanity is dying, and pollution and atmospheric conditions do not give humanity a chance to survive.  Weather conditions remain unstable.  The wandering seti has finally found an escape route under the bay leaves.  Nothing matters more than the self. Developing the inner self by embracing who you are,

that is to acknowledge the situation, identify your strengths, and embrace the self, is to acknowledge the problem, let it come, and deal with it when the emotions come with it.  That is: how are you feeling in the present moment? NOW.

Hidden Shame

In the bustling city, there lived three inseparable friends- me, myself, and I.

They were known for their unbreakable bond and their ability to face any challenge together.  One day, their lives took an unexpected turn when a powerful storm hit the city, causing widespread destruction and chaos.  Me, myself I found ourselves in the middle of adversity.  Their homes were damaged and the streets they once knew were now unrecognisable.  Despite the overwhelming situation, they knew they had to stay strong and support each other.

Me - the practical one, immediately began gathering supplies and organising a plan to rebuild their lives.

Myself - the emotional anchor, provided comfort and encouragement, reminding the group of their inner strength.

I - the visionary, kept their spirits high by imagining a brighter future and finding creative solutions to their problems.  

Together they navigated through the debris, helping their neighbours and finding ways to restore their community.  They faced numerous challenges from finding clean water to rebuilding homes, but their unity and determination never wavered.  One day, while clearing the rubble, they discovered a hidden underground shelter.  Inside, they found supplies and tools that would greatly aid their efforts.  This discovery was a turning point, giving them the resources they needed to accelerate the rebuilding process.

As the days turned into weeks, the city slowly began to recover. Me, myself, and I worked tirelessly, their bond growing even stronger.  They inspired others with their resilience and became symbols of hope for the entire community.  In the end, the city was not only restored but transformed into a more resilient and connected place.  Me, myself I realised that their greatest strength was their unity and their ability to face adversity together.  They had turned a devastating situation into an opportunity for growth and renewal.

ME is known for practicality and organisation- Me is grounded and realistic, always focusing on what needs to be done in the present moment.  This strength allows me to tackle immediate problems efficiently. Me excels at planning and organising resources, whether its gathering supplies or coordinating efforts, me ensure that everything is in order and nothing is overlooked.

Myself is known for strength, emotions and empathy. Myself is the emotional anchor of the group.  The strength helps everyone to keep calm and motivated even in the face of adversity.  Myself, has a deep understanding of others' feelings and needs.  This ability to connect on an emotional level fosters a supportive and compassionate environment.

I am known for strength, vision and creativity.  I am the dreamer and visionary, always looking ahead and a better future.  This strength provides hope and direction, inspiring the group to keep moving forward. I bring innovative solutions to the table when faced with challenges.  I think outside the box and find creative ways to overcome the obstacles.  

Together these strengths create a balanced and resilient team. Each member brings something unique to the table, making them stronger as a unit.  Their combined abilities allow them to face any challenge with confidence and determination.

How we see things is very critical and important. Some years ago, when I started facing trials and tribulations, I got so stressed that I would have panic attacks, anxiety, and fear the unknown. Whatever the problems were, it would weigh heavily on me. I couldn't see any other way except that there were problems. I saw myself as the problem, and others saw me this way, too!

Needless to say, I was in deep denial.  I had the choice to let it overwhelm me, or I could change my perception and

mental capacity.  I will never forget at the age of twelve, when I had a severe trauma that was so bad and rough that I felt hopeless and despondent. It was a day like every other day. I was going to meet my best friend, and together we would walk to school. But this day, I felt very sick to my stomach as I entered her house. I told her I didn't feel very well. Her uncle came out of the room and offered to take us to school. Instead of taking us to school,he drove away miles to an isolated beach. 

 

https://www.mind.org.uk/